Counselling can be an effective way in which to make sense of past issues and patterns of behaviour in order to see how certain aspects of past history are perhaps getting in the way. Perhaps you are struggling to accept a change in your life or want to look at unfinished business from the past. Working through this in Counselling can help come to terms with change or loss in a more manageable way.
The situation may be a familiar one and seem to be part of a pattern of similar events. You may be trying to make a difficult decision or struggling to cope with some change in your life. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of strength. I|t is a sign of belief in change. Taking steps to deal with past or current events, allows for the possibility to move forward, to feel happier and more able to cope.
Unresolved trauma can affect us throughout our lives in ways that do not always seem obvious or clear. We may not realise that these experiences can have all kinds of physical and psychological effects. Certain events may involuntarily trigger reactions in us that we have not thought about for a long time: guilt, shame, fear, or anger, connecting back to earlier experiences in our lives.
Attachment research suggests that it is not just what happens to us that affects us and our relationships. We are also affected by the extent to which we have not been able to make sense of our experiences. When our experiences or trauma are left unresolved, we carry it with us. We have not perhaps made full sense of, or come to terms with, our narrative. Therefore our past is still impacting us and manifesting itself in the present.
It can influence how we parent, how we relate to our partner, how we feel, think, and operate in the world.
Although instinctively it may feel preferable to bury the past, minimise, or avoid our pain, feeling the feeling of what happened to us can actually lead to healing. It can help us separate our early experiences from the present day and identify the negative overlays these experiences have on our current lives, including our physical health and relationships.
Creating a coherent narrative can be a powerful tool for resolving early childhood trauma. Making sense of our history can enable us freedom to move forward and potentially re write our narrative for the future. It can help us break destructive inter-generational patterns to become stronger parents and partners. It can lead us to feel more secure within ourselves and provide more security to others.
Facing unresolved childhood issues and trauma is not easy, but the pay off can be enormous. It is a fundamental aspect of healing mentally and physically, enabling us to build better relationships, and hopefully leading to living a happier and more content life.