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“The motion of emotion is like the swing of a pendulum. If the pendulum swings high it will then swing low and even when the pendulum is in the centre, still and calm, it has within it the energy to oscillate back and forth if it is moved. Similar processes are present in emotions. Even when we are calm we......

Back to all blogs Gestalt therapy refers to a form of psychotherapy that derives from the gestalt school of thought. It was developed in the late 1940s by Fritz Perls and is guided by the relational theory principle that every individual is a whole (mind,......

True Rest is enlightened selfishness. It is that activity which renews us and enables us to have a realistic view of where our talents lie, the energy to use them and the strength to handle disappointment. Without true rest our perception of our self, and of others, is always wrong. True rest is any activity that gets us......

Another form of Attraction to Hurt is addiction. Rather than look at the original feelings of abandonment from childhood, we can fall into filling the void or the “hole” with alcohol food or drugs, anything rather than feel the painful feelings of abandonment and loneliness. “By being in your mind and constantly thinking...

Building boundaries as an adult can be frustrating and painful because we are learning what we should have learnt when we were children. When we start to say no I can’t do that for you, I need to take care of myself, I’m angry with you, I find that remark offensive, we will see how capable we really are of sticking up for......

Contribution Training offers us the ability to turn that which is negative into something positive. The open sharing of hurt can contribute to the other person who can then contribute back to us because they enable us to achieve the ‘Feelings of Accomplishment’ and purpose that we get from making the contribution....

Back to all blogs A family therapist is an active participant in bringing about change within a family, engaging therapeutically in concerns and issues that are causing distress. This will be effective and valued from a structural family therapy viewpoint, if s/he can disrupt or......

Back to all blogs Codependency can also be a form of Attraction to Hurt. A codependent person is someone who has let another person’s behaviour affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling them. Whilst focusing on the person they are Codependent with,......

Back to all blogs Children are at risk of growing up with a heightened sense of anxiety or potentially an addiction to excitement if they live in a whirlwind of highs and lows. We can teach The Pendulum and the importance of True Rest to......

Back to all blogs Emphasis within the Humanistic Approach to counselling is on personal and professional change and development. We know that some people seem to be further along than perhaps we are and others less so. We should not be put off by this.......